How To Ask Your Manager To Be Your Mentor

As seen on Forbes.

Mentors are your unsung heroes in your career, as you look up to them or help guide you in your professional development. They could be someone who you already know and would want to develop a longer relationship with. Most think of having mentors who are senior leaders in the company or former co-workers, but your current manager could also be your mentor.

According to a published study, mentees saw a significant increase in self-efficacy and have gained more realistic views about their workplace and potential career options. Meanwhile, a survey by the Association for Talent Development highlighted that formal mentorship programs lead to significant effectiveness in achieving learning and business goals, despite only 29% of participants reporting that their company has a formal mentorship program in place.

So, if you want to establish a mentor-mentee relationship with your manager, whether you have a formal or informal mentorship program set at work, here are 3 things to keep in mind when approaching them to start becoming your mentor: 

Acknowledge That It Is A Different Relationship

You may find your manager intimidating or you could be too shy to ask them a favor, so naturally, approaching them to ask for a mentor-mentee relationship may not be an easy feat. So, be intentional in your approach.

First, pick a suitable time and private setting to have this conversation. Stary by expressing appreciation for their leadership and that you admire and respect the career that they have. With this in mind, let them know that you would love to see how you can learn from them in a mentorship relationship.

A manager-employee relationship usually centers on job performance and task assignments, but a mentor-mentee relationship may involve guidance on career goals, skills development, and broader aspects of professional growth. So be clear on what you want to achieve in this task. Once you’ve established this new relationship, acknowledge that it is going to be different from them being your boss and you being their employee. Communicate which specific skills or areas you think their guidance would be particularly beneficial.

Schedule Calls Specifically For Mentorship 

With a newly established mentor-mentee relationship, you might have to jump from one role of being their subordinate to being their mentee, which could get confusing, so you have to be able to split your role accordingly. Most of the time, you have to be their employee but know that you should be investing time to learn from them as a mentor. One way to do this is by scheduling calls that are specific to mentoring.

Unlike your weekly or bi-weekly regular meeting with your manager,  this mentorship call should only be done quarterly or every 6 months. Discussions might revolve around the goals and needs of the mentee but general topics that could be covered include networking strategies and opportunities, addressing concerns related to work-life balance, and setting short-term and long-term goals. Keep in mind that 87% of mentors and mentees feel empowered by having this kind of relationship and that it should result in greater confidence for both of you, therefore, it is important to continue fostering the relationship rather than letting it go stale. 

Play The Long Game

Nothing lasts forever, including a manager-employee relationship. But if you’ve established a mentorship relationship together, your connection may even go beyond your current role. Remember that mentorship is not a transactional relationship, rather, it’s a collaborative journey that celebrates the successes of both mentors and mentees whether professional or personal.

This is why I advise you to play the long game by staying connected with your mentor even when the relationship eventually becomes dormant. Depending on the rapport you’ve built with them, follow them on social media, especially LinkedIn. Share your big wins with them and mention how you achieved those with the lessons that they imparted. And congratulate them when it’s their turn to share a win. You don’t have to be hovering over their life, but always be there for each other, even with limited contact. Who knows, you may even leverage your mentor’s network down the line should you need it.

BONUS TIP: Remember that being your manager’s mentee does not mean that you should pledge complete allegiance to them. You can have other mentors and you can still get a new job somewhere else. Just because your manager is your mentor doesn’t mean that you have to be in the same role forever. And if the time comes that you do need to part ways, do it respectfully and remind them that their guidance has allowed you to seek greater opportunities and that you’re grateful for the role they played in your career growth.